Well, it's Sunday 29th April, meaning tomorrow I start my new position working for JP Morgan after 13 months off.

As I've said before, it feels like I've only been out for two weeks. At the moment I'm not especially nervous (just a little), but I'm also a little excited at the chance of being given a new start.

I originally intended to stay at my previous company for a considerable time, but due to the fact I became disillusioned with them quite early on, I never really made the progress I should have. Generally I think the team there was great, certainly a bunch of very smart people who it was a pleasure to work alongside. Obviously there were ups and downs with the company, but I think my line manager Tony and project manager Paul were excellent people to work for, (even if they didn't think I was interested in promotion!!), and others on the team were almost universally good too.

I guess the real problem with UBS were the next level of managers. The trouble is the more you become abstracted from the ground troops (as is necessary when moving through the ranks, that's what the next level of managers working for you are there for), the more isolated you become. It's hard (if not impossible) to get around this and is rarely achieved. Of course, it doesn't help when the feeling in the department is one of self interest and general disdain from the higher ranks (and quotes such as "if he doesn't like it f*ck him, we'll get somebody else" don't really improve morale).

The problem is really one of perception. The bigger picture in the company was one of trying to look out for the lower ranking members of staff, after all if the foot soldiers are unhappy then the very foundations of the company are in trouble. However this only has to hit one loose link in the chain before the message is lost. Looking back I don't really think it's a company problem (although I don't know much about the culture at higher levels), but more down to a couple of individuals with an over inflated self importance, as is usually the case.

Either way I'm glad to be out and hoping upon all hopes that JP Morgan is run in a more friendly manner. Certainly (as you'd expect) the things I've been told in the interviews seem to imply this, so I guess only time will tell, but I'm hoping for great things.

And the thing I'm most worried about this very moment?

Trying to remember everyone's name.

One of the things I have especially missed this last year, has been not being able to ask my dad for advice in the garden (amongst other things). Looking back I've gone from thinking to myself "I must just call and ask him about this" to now realising straight away that this is no longer possible and just guessing what to do and getting on with it, but not without first giving him a thought each time.

Anyone who knew my father (especially since his retirement) would have know how he was a keen gardener. I especially remember how, when we lived in a little village called Hook, just outside Swindon and Wootton Bassett, he would enter the local flower competitions and regularly come home with a haul of rosettes, especially, as I remember, for his Dahlia and Sweet Peas.

I try my best, but I really don't know what I'm doing and in some cases end up buying the plants I've tried to grow from seed at some garden center or other at some extortionate price. He's probably turning in his grave as I do this, but it's his fault since I can't ask anymore ;-)

I guess I'm writing about this now as a couple of really small and insignificant events have happened over the last couple of days.

Firstly, I visited him in the cemetery yesterday, what with it being my last day of freedom before starting work on Monday. Whilst there I removed a dead pot plat somebody had left at the grave (since a similar plant was also on the grave of my grandparents & uncle I assume it was left by one of my other uncles), but kept the pot thinking to myself "That'll come in useful". When relaying the days events to my mum she casually commented how Dad would do the same thing, which I laughed about at the time.

Earlier today I was also sorting out some stuff in the shed and garage when I came across a box I had obviously taken when sorting out his stuff with my brothers. The box was full of  packets of seeds, some of which were unlabelled (typical of my father - he may recognise the seeds but to me it's going to be a surprise). I'd forgotten I had this, and since I was in the middle of doing some stuff in the garden it just felt a little poignant.

Time will tell if I ever manage to grow anything from this collection, but I intend to try with at least some things, if not this year then next. Taking into consideration my ability and the age of the seeds, I'm not expecting much to germinate, but I'm hoping at least a few things will. It just seems to make the process a little more special if it does.

If I'm honest, what little I try to do in the garden is probably driven by a desire to honor his memory in a small way, so I guess I should put more effort in and appreciate any success I have.

As a colleague of mine once said: "You can get over what has happened, but it never leaves you".

I'll be starting work for J P Morgan on 30th April 2007.

It's going to be a bittersweet day, I've enjoyed the past year off during which I have not achieved only a little of what I intended. There's just so much to do out there when you look at it, I could have filled my time twenty times over. Still, it's been a nice break, and I probably need to get back into the real world.

I'm a little nervous about starting the new job, not because I don't think I'm up to it, I'm sure after an introductory period I'll be back in the swing, but more because I'm terrible at remembering names, and they'll be a lot to remember.

Oh well, I've survived before.

I'm actually quite looking forward to it, although I'll miss being able to hop on the bike and ride down to the river for a nice pint in the sun.

Oh well, I may be able to afford to retire at 70, so I'll be able to do it then.

Assuming I can still get on a bike that is.

And I'm still alive... ;-)

Well, I've been out of work for almost a year now, so it's probably about time I returned to the rat race.

Handy that, since it seems I've just managed to get a new job. I've been made an offer, but I'm waiting for the conformation and paperwork to come through, so I'll not be going into many more details.

It's not paying as much as I hoped for (although still a little better than UBS), but hopefully the prospects will be better and it will be somewhere that actually look at what their staff do rather than how kissy they are when deciding company progression.

Time will tell.

Stay tuned for more news (almost) as it happens!